Babies... what people don't tell you

So Little Miss Charlotte has been hanging out with me here for 7 weeks. I can hardly believe it! Time flies and all that jazz... Since bringing her home I have figured out some stuff that may blow your mind. Or maybe not. Maybe you were one of those people that kept your knowledge all locked up. Now, I am no expert. I am as far from expert as you can get... In fact, I may have just fallen off the turnip truck. But I do know that there were lots of other people on that turnip truck as well (there were hardly any turnips, surprisingly enough!) and I wish someone would've told me all of this stuff!

1. Babies have multiple personalities. One minute they are all cute and cuddly and the next they are screaming their adorable little heads off (see pic below for proof). Good luck trying to figure out what is wrong with them! I have a checklist I work down and if its none of those things I assume she wants chocolate because if I was screaming like that, that's all I would want.

2. Baby Clothes. They are cute. You can go poor buying them. You have a closet full of them. And all she wears are sleepers. Yup. It's true. It's easier to keep them in sleepers. You don't have to deal with socks, or taking off multiple pieces of clothing to change the million diapers you are sure to be changing. Though I have been making an effort to dress her up a bit more. Some days, she gets dressed and I don't. (Yea.... that's actually most days)

3. Diapers. Dude... buy stock in diapers. You will go through millions of them. Babies pee and poop more than any other creature on this planet. And my kid? She can't stand being in a dirty diaper but  I don't blame her, neither could I. I have tried to decrease the amount of diapers we go through in a day. I tried the scare tactic but this girl has no fear. I have tried bribing, (I offered to pay for a car and her college tuition if she'd potty train right now) but she was having none of it. I have tried begging, but that girl won't listen to reason. So here we are, spending the money we used to spend on fun things (beer, movies, pedicures) on diapers.

4. Your living room looks like a carnival for babies. The carnies have taken over and every square inch of your living space has been invaded with baby gear. Anything to keep her happy! We've got the bouncer, the  rock'n'play, the swing, the glider, an exercise ball, a play mat. The only thing we don't have is the freakin' cotton candy.

5. Feeding them. There are lots of different ways to feed babies. I am not saying one way is better than another. Every baby, mom, and family is different and I respect everyone's individual choices. We chose to breastfeed. When you are reading up on it prebaby, it sounds so glam. All of the bonding time, health benefits, giant boobs, money-saving... YES. All of that is true. But what people don't tell you is that crazy things happen. For example. my boobs bled the first couple of weeks and sometimes I'd think everything was going good only to find Charlotte was going all "Edward Cullen" on me. Oh and your boobs. They aren't yours anymore. They are hers. Everything that was attractive about them is gone. It's a little like looking at a bottle. Bottles aren't cute. You lose all modesty. Bet you'd never think your dad would see your boob... mine has and I didn't care nearly as much as I thought it would.
I could probably find a million things people don't tell you and go on and on. But here is something a lot of people did tell me... That you never know a love as deep until you have a child. And that?? That is the most true statement ever. The love is overwhelming and it makes everything and anything else worth it.


Dawn said...

hahaha yes all true! Love your writing style! :)

Sweet and Savory by Sarah said...

No matter what a person tells you about having babies before you have babies, you wont listen. It's in one ear and out the other :)